Yo quiero Punky Brewster

A group of anti-illegal immigration activists are voluntarily patroling the US-Mexico border. When asked why, the most common responses were "hoping for a spring break discount" and "wait, I'm not getting paid for this?"

"None of us want to be Border Patrol agents," said Tony Dolz, a Cuban-born Santa Monica businessman." And just who does? Little children want to be astronauts, firefighters and transformers. If I was a kid and another child stated that he wanted to be a Border Patrol agent, I'd slap him with a building block and sit myself in the corner for five minutes, just for being associated with such a person.

The group also condemned businesses that hire illegal immigrants as part of the problem. I find it highly unlikely that these people even have jobs (or a clean pair of underpants, for that matter). It's not like you've heard a variation of this conversation transpire:

Employee: Sir, I have to take the day off.
Boss: Why?
Employee: (proudly) To protect the Mexican border.
Boss: That is terrific! Take the week off. In fact, I just fired myself and peed my pants.
Employee: What?
Boss: Yeah, I don't even work here.

Unfortunately, the Taco Bell dog could not be reached for comment.