She scratched the surface of my nano, is that bad?

Customers are complaining that the iPod nano screen scratches too easily. Steve (get a) Jobs says that the problems only effect "less than one-tenth of 1 percent" of the product, a number that, like the nano, is impossibly small and cute.

The Artics ice cap are melting and just like your son not doing his homework, global warming is to blame. This year has been a record year for sea-ice shrinkage, causing a rapid decrease in fisherman self esteem. The melting is occuring drip by drip, which means that we should expect a summer blockbuster with Bruce Willis starring. Expect the timeframe of events sped up to suggest that this has all occured in twenty minutes.

$100 laptops are being developed for poor children in America, meaning most of the keys will be missing on the keyboard. Many children will cry as they compensate spelling in favor of a wireless morsecode pad. The excitement in receiving one of these laptops will most likely be in line with the sensation of renting a movie on VHS at the public library.